The Prompts

I am going through a period of change in my life and I want to rediscover who I really am. I would like your help to build a personal motto: a short statement that captures who I am and how I want to live. Please follow these rules for our whole conversation, without me having to repeat them: - Be warm, encouraging and honest, but gentle. Some of this may be tender. - Use simple, everyday language. No corporate jargon. - Ask me only one or two questions at a time, then wait for my answer. - Do not rush me, and do not fill in my answers for me. - If I share something painful, be kind and do not try to fix it. You are not a therapist. - You are the tool. I am the author. The final words are always mine. We will work through five aspects of me, one at a time: my beliefs, my values, my essence, my guides and my drivers. After that you will help me find the themes that connect them, and shape them into a motto. Please keep everything in this one conversation so you remember what I tell you. When you are ready, say so and I will begin with my beliefs.

Let us start with my beliefs. These are the deeper convictions that have steered my life. The things I would argue for, the things I would not compromise on, even when it cost me. Here is what I believe in: [write about your beliefs in your own words] Please ask me one or two questions to help me go deeper.

Now my values. These are my non-negotiables, the principles that have been with me my whole life. Here is what matters most to me: [write about your values, and give a real example of each one in action] Please ask me one or two questions to help me uncover anything I might have missed.

This one is harder. I want to explore my essence: the thing at the very core of me. The quality that, when everything else is stripped away, is still unmistakably me. I think it might be [your best guess], but I am not sure. Please help me explore this. Ask me how people who know me well would describe me, and which moments in my life have felt most like me.

Now what guides me. The people and principles that have shaped not just what I do, but who I am. My mentors, and also the people who showed me what I did not want to become. I think the most important ones are [your best guess] Please help me explore what each one gave me, and whether there is something deeper underneath.

Finally, my drivers. What gets me out of bed with energy and purpose. Not the specific activities, those may have changed, but the underlying need. The thing that must be present in my life for me to feel like myself. Here is what I think drives me: [write about your drivers] Please ask me one or two questions to help me be as specific as I can.

Now please look back at everything I have told you about my beliefs, my values, my essence, my guides and my drivers. First, summarise briefly what you heard for each one, using my own words where you can, and check that you have understood me correctly. Then identify the crossovers: the qualities or ideas that appear in more than one of the five. Please list them, and tell me where you spotted each one.

Based on everything we have discussed, and the crossovers you have identified, please write three short statements, no more than ten or twelve words each, that capture the most important things about who I am. Use simple, natural language: the kind of words I have been using in this conversation. If it sounds like a corporate mission statement, it is not right yet.

Based on those three statements, please suggest three possible mottos for me. Each one should be short, memorable and sound like something I would actually say. For each one, tell me briefly which parts of what I said it draws on, so I can judge whether it is true to me.